I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
