Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize