I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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