I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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