Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
