I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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