Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
