I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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