You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
