What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
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Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
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We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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