I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
