Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
