ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
