i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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