So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
