Will you blow on my dice?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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