rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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