Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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