I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
