this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
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