shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I love you.
Bad choice
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