i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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