Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
