What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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