Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
