just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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