i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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