did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
