his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
