After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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