Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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