xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
