At least make sure they are 18
Why
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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