Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
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It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
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I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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