How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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