the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
