He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize
