How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
