I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
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I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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