Will you blow on my dice?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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