Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
