guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
