He is such a slut. More and more my type.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
