The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize