think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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