I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
