Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
