i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Randomize
