He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
