last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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