all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
