dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
