All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
