hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
