Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
