The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize