you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
