So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
