So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Found the puke drawer
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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