I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Randomize
