Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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