3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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