fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I wanna passion pit in your ass
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
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