when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
