i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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