she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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