I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
