Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
