Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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