come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
accomplished twins. life is a go
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
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