so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Randomize
